Empty nester ~ What to do?

When my kids were little and I was working and raising my family, the thought of not knowing what to do with my time was a concept that I couldn't quite wrap my head around.  Here I am though, all my kids on their own and more time than I know what to do with.  I tried 'retiring' for four months and it was definitely not for me.  Back to work I went and that has been good for me.  I think for a lot of women, raising your children and looking after their day to day needs becomes your identity, much like a man's job becomes his.  So, I have found this transition much harder than I thought.  I am 9 months child free (you don't ever stop worrying though) and still haven't found my new stride.  Now that I have fairly successfully raised my children into adults, what do I strive for next?  What do I want to accomplish with the time I have left in this life?  I don't know yet, everyday I ask myself.  When I figure it out, I'll let you know :)

Age of communication? Really?

I have often wondered as I look at this electronic age that we live in, if we have lost the ability to REALLY communicate with each other. Sounds ironic doesn't it. You look at people in restaurants, walking down the street, even at dinner tables all with their Blackberries, IPhones close at hand afraid they might miss some piece of news. Yet it seems they can't talk face to face about the most important things in their lives.  Love, birth, death, loneliness, anger.  It's all sent out into cyberspace with caution.  You don't have to see their face and deal with the emotion behind it, if you do it this way.  It's safe, its guarded.  You can just pretend it didn't happen if the outcome isn't good.  We have lost our sense of community, our sense of integrity, our sense of family.  As I said on my blog yesterday, I lost my sister last year and I am astonished at how much this has changed our family.  We send e-mails, texts, voice mails trying to navigate our way down this road without her.  The problem is that all we probably need is a good talk, body language included and a strong hug every once in a while.  Things don't come across as they should in an email, feelings are hurt, anger brews and we don't know what to do about it.  So, more emails are sent, more feelings hurt and it goes on.  What I have learnt in this past year is that there are a multitude of ways that people handle grief and none of them are wrong.  Each of us has a process to work through.  For some it will be long, for some it will be short.  Some of us pull away and some of us want to talk about every single thing that reminds us of the one we have lost.  We need to be respectful of each person's process and let them grieve in the way that feels best to them.  Sometimes they just need someone to listen...and right now this is the only way I seem to be able to do it.

Well, this is a first for me.  I have read all sorts of blogs and have enjoyed discovering what makes other people tick.  I have never written one before.  It seems like a good way to put it out there and get things into perspective.....I have a long list of things you learn over your life on my fridge  and one of my favourites is; If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.  Even though I know it's true, I must admit it's been a gruelling year at our house.  A year ago the sudden loss of my sister, put me into a tailspin that I haven't quite recovered from.  This followed by 4 deaths in my husband's family and the murder of our friend's son.  You begin to worry what the new day will bring, you begin to withdraw.  My kids and husband have definitely been the purpose in my life, love them dearly.  I can hear my sister saying to me from the great beyond "This too shall pass".  It's just hard to believe it some days...